Today Smooch and I drove down to East Lansing to see Dr. Anderson, one of MSU's excellent cardiologists. Sue and I had picked up a very quiet (Grade I/VI) murmur on him incidentally, and even though he has had no clinical signs of heart disease whatsoever, I was a worried Mommy and decided to take him for a full evaluation of his heart. Fortunately, nothing major was found and his heart looked very normal :) Now I can stop worrying, for now anyway. Surprisingly he was very good and only wiggled a little towards the end of his echo. I was pretty impressed since he is usually quite the wiggle worm.
The drive really wasn't that bad, and was actually relaxing, especially with the music from my mp3 player playing. I do admit that being back at MSU was weird. It was nice seeing students and doctors I hadn't seen in a while and catching up with them. It brought back a lot of memories too and in all honesty it was lonely there without my classmates. Its weird seeing people every single day for 4 years and then never seeing them at all. I was able to talk to Katie on the way back though which was really nice; I miss her.
My birthday yesterday was great. I brought in cookies for everyone at work and they had all signed a Bday card for me. Janet had gotten me one herself and I found it on my desk when I arrived in the morning :) I came home from work to a vase full of pink roses and a beautiful card from Steve, filled with gift cards to Starbucks, Bath and Body Works, and Barnes and Noble. He took me to dinner at Olive Garden, my favorite restaurant, and boy did we pig out lol. Today I have to work off what I ate at Olive Garden as well as the ice cream we just had from Cold Stone.
I started working out full time last week and surprisingly have been really enjoying it. I saw an infomercial for a work-out program called Yoga Booty Ballet and ordered it because it looked like fun. It really is fun - it is perfectly suited for someone with a dance background who just loves to dance. It doesn't really seem like working out because it is just that much fun. So far I have lost two pounds in the first week, 3 inches off my waist and about 1/4 inch off each thigh. Steve says he notices the change already and so do I which makes me really happy. I think I have finally found something that I can stick with for good. Yay for Yoga Booty Ballet!
I have still been reading like crazy too and loving every minute of it. I finished all the books mentioned in one of my previous blogs and bought a whole bunch of new ones. I have recently finished The Guardian, Nights in Rodanthe, and Bend in the Road by Nicholas Sparks. Only 3 more books to go: The Rescue which I am currently reading, True Believer, and At First Sight and I have read all of his novels. All the ones I have read are HIGHLY recommended, they are all wonderful. Two more books I have in the line-up to read are Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes and The Way the Crow Flies by Ann-Marie MacDonald, both of which looked interesting. I'll let you know how those are when I finish them :)
Tomorrow is my long day at work (7:30-7) but at least I get a 3 hour lunch and the morning is spent in surgery with Sue which I absolutely LOVE! I get to do a bunch of the routine stuff (spays, neuters, declaws, dentals, some mass removals) on my own and together we have done a bunch of cruciate surgeries and even an FHO! Wednesday mornings are my favorite because I am able to do surgery with her. She is an INCREDIBLE surgeon and is wonderful at giving me guidance and helping me gain confidence in my own surgical skills.
This weekend I'm not working (YAY!) so Steve, Smooch and I are taking a long weekend and going to NY to see my family. I'm really excited and it will be nice to get away for a little while.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Thoughts and Confusion
This evening Steve and I went to Cold Stone because I was craving ice cream and although my birthday isn't until tomorrow, we decided to do the ice cream thing tonight. When we got there, the line was out the door (about an hour long) full of kids that had been in a soccer tournament today. In a huff, I went to the Starbucks next door instead because there was no way I had an hour to waste in line waiting for ice cream. So much to do tonight, so little time. Then I realized that those little kids probably have no concept of time and the importance of it. Lately a lot has been going on in my life and over and over I wish for an easier life and get jealous of people that seem to have it. I would love nothing more than to have a 9 to 5 job with no weekends or holidays, which in my profession will probably never happen. I am quickly learning why so many vets have quit private practice because they are just burnt out. I have only been in my job for 7 weeks now and I am feeling burn out already. Its funny how I waited my whole life to get to this point and now somehow I seem to question it sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love being a veterinarian and I adore my patients. I know I would feel completely lost in any other career. But I just don't get why it has to be so demanding all the time and the hours so long. My boss has really been pushing me over the edge lately and it is getting very frustrating to the point where I feel sick to my stomach whenever she is around. Every one of the other doctors tells me constantly what a great job I'm doing but for her its never enough. Also, I once a month get stuck doing weekend duty (thats what I get for being the low person on the totem pole) which means that every other Saturday I work, I also have to come in Saturday night, Sunday morning and Sunday night to take care of any in-hospital patients and check on the boarders. This is a lot more work than it seems and prevents me from making any plans at all that weekend, and by Monday I am exhausted instead of rejuvinated. Mind you I get NO extra time off during the week when I have to do the weekend duty either. Thank God that this is only every 4th weekend (since I get every other weekend off).
There have definitely been tears shed lately because I really want to know why God brought me to Midland and to this clinic. It just doesn't seem right that in my first job I should have to be putting up with the shit I am with my boss. I love Sue and Janet to death and Tammy is wonderful too. I wonder if they are the reason I am here, so I can learn from them. They are always willing to take time out and help and encourage me, even when they are really busy. They are such wonderful veterinarians too and I learn so much from them, especially Sue. I was just hoping that my first job would be the one I would stay in forever but I guess that was really naive thinking on my part. Plus, if Steve really wants to end up doing graphics for a video game company or Pixar, then we will not only have to eventually move out of Midland but also out of Michigan.
There was an article that Sue and I read in DVM magazine during our lunch on Friday about how the most frustrating thing to veterinarians everywhere is the lack of balance between work and family, and how thousands of vets would do anything to work less and spend more time with their husbands/wives and children. We talked a lot about how we both struggle with this every day and how we wonder if it will ever change. We hung the article on Connie's board I guess with the faint hope that maybe it would help, but we both doubt it will.
I hate how I always compare myself to others and if I think they have it easier than me I get jealous and wish my life was more like theirs. For so long I have longed for an easier life and although my life now is a LOT better than it was in vet school, it is definitely harder out in "the real world" than I thought it would be. I find myself constantly wishing I had it easy for a change. But at the same time if I had the option to trade lives with someone else who had it easier, there is no way I would do it. I would never give up having Steve and my family and friends in my life. I could never give up being married to my true soulmate and being able to come home to him and love him wholeheartedly every day. I would never give up the wonderful family I have that have always supported me and loved me unconditionally, or the friends that have been there for me every moment even when I am being dumb or crazy. And I can't forget the bunnies and cat in my life that I love dearly. I thank God every day for all the people in my life that I am blessed to know and love.
Also, if I was able to leave the clinic I am at for one with better hours, I would miss Sue and Janet so much that it would break my heart. I definitely feel that I can call them my friends and I enjoy seeing them every day and talking to them about anything on my mind because they are wonderful people who have earned my respect and trust. I wonder if it will ever be possible to have what I would consider a better existence without having to give up the blessings I am grateful to have.
Unrelated things......
We went to Grand Blanc today to see Janet's shelties run in an agility competition. What an amazing thing to watch. I absolutely loved watching all the dogs run the agility course - what a wonderful way for the dogs to exert their energy and its obvious how much they enjoy doing it! I have decided when Steve and I eventually get our little pug I am going to do agility training with it :) I also have really developed a love for Shelties because of Janet. They are so smart and her dogs are just wonderful and I love them dearly. Shelties are the coolest non-smashed faced dogs in my book! :)
Steve starts Central tomorrow. I'm going to miss not having him home at lunch anymore but am excited for him - he's starting the last leg of a long journey to become a graphic designer with a bachelor's degree. I'm so proud of him :)
There have definitely been tears shed lately because I really want to know why God brought me to Midland and to this clinic. It just doesn't seem right that in my first job I should have to be putting up with the shit I am with my boss. I love Sue and Janet to death and Tammy is wonderful too. I wonder if they are the reason I am here, so I can learn from them. They are always willing to take time out and help and encourage me, even when they are really busy. They are such wonderful veterinarians too and I learn so much from them, especially Sue. I was just hoping that my first job would be the one I would stay in forever but I guess that was really naive thinking on my part. Plus, if Steve really wants to end up doing graphics for a video game company or Pixar, then we will not only have to eventually move out of Midland but also out of Michigan.
There was an article that Sue and I read in DVM magazine during our lunch on Friday about how the most frustrating thing to veterinarians everywhere is the lack of balance between work and family, and how thousands of vets would do anything to work less and spend more time with their husbands/wives and children. We talked a lot about how we both struggle with this every day and how we wonder if it will ever change. We hung the article on Connie's board I guess with the faint hope that maybe it would help, but we both doubt it will.
I hate how I always compare myself to others and if I think they have it easier than me I get jealous and wish my life was more like theirs. For so long I have longed for an easier life and although my life now is a LOT better than it was in vet school, it is definitely harder out in "the real world" than I thought it would be. I find myself constantly wishing I had it easy for a change. But at the same time if I had the option to trade lives with someone else who had it easier, there is no way I would do it. I would never give up having Steve and my family and friends in my life. I could never give up being married to my true soulmate and being able to come home to him and love him wholeheartedly every day. I would never give up the wonderful family I have that have always supported me and loved me unconditionally, or the friends that have been there for me every moment even when I am being dumb or crazy. And I can't forget the bunnies and cat in my life that I love dearly. I thank God every day for all the people in my life that I am blessed to know and love.
Also, if I was able to leave the clinic I am at for one with better hours, I would miss Sue and Janet so much that it would break my heart. I definitely feel that I can call them my friends and I enjoy seeing them every day and talking to them about anything on my mind because they are wonderful people who have earned my respect and trust. I wonder if it will ever be possible to have what I would consider a better existence without having to give up the blessings I am grateful to have.
Unrelated things......
We went to Grand Blanc today to see Janet's shelties run in an agility competition. What an amazing thing to watch. I absolutely loved watching all the dogs run the agility course - what a wonderful way for the dogs to exert their energy and its obvious how much they enjoy doing it! I have decided when Steve and I eventually get our little pug I am going to do agility training with it :) I also have really developed a love for Shelties because of Janet. They are so smart and her dogs are just wonderful and I love them dearly. Shelties are the coolest non-smashed faced dogs in my book! :)
Steve starts Central tomorrow. I'm going to miss not having him home at lunch anymore but am excited for him - he's starting the last leg of a long journey to become a graphic designer with a bachelor's degree. I'm so proud of him :)
Saturday, August 19, 2006
sick :(
This was a tough week at work but I got through it with a couple of heart-to-hearts with my boss and colleagues, which helped me grow as a veterinarian a lot. Friday was a really good day as a result, and I feel like I am really fitting in to my job now :) Thank God I have this weekend off though because I have a terrible cold/allergy thing going on in my sinuses. I feel like crap and am trying to rest and sleep it off by Monday when I have to do surgery in the morning. Steve is sick too so we're helping each other through it. Lots of naps, hot tea, and cold medicine. Hopefully we both feel better soon.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Sleepy
What a busy week. I am so tired I just napped for over 2 hours! Thankfully this morning wasn't too bad at work. Hopefully the rest of the weekend goes ok with no catastrophes - this is my first time on weekend-duty all by myself which means no sleeping in for me :( I'm looking forward to having next weekend off. This is definitely one of the few negatives of working in the veterinary field - it is very common to have to work on weekends and have clinic responsibilities on holidays, hence NOT having a true holiday. I am stuck doing Thanksgiving which I am NOT looking forward to, and the clinic is actually open the Friday and Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend which really pisses me off. So much for Thanksgiving being a "holiday" anymore :( Maybe someday somewhere I'll find a clinic that is CLOSED on weekends and holidays, or maybe I'll just keep dreaming for the rest of my career....
On a more positive note I have been having success with a number of my cases and seem to be getting more and more comfortable seeing sick animals. Most of the time what my plan is is the same as the other docs, and when it isn't its fairly close (usually the difference involves choice of antibiotic which isn't a big deal - I'm learning more and more as I go which antibiotics work best in what instances). There are still a few cases that I have no idea what something is simply because I have never seen it before (example: I saw a dog with a histiocytoma and had no clue what it was, but Janet knew what it was and explained it to me, the next one I saw I knew what it was right away :) ). These cases sometimes make me feel really dumb, but I keep reminding myself I am a new grad and not expected to know everything (YET lol). Sue comes back early next week (YAY!!!) and I am sooo glad, I missed her - she's so great to work with :)
Steve and I are trying a new church tomorrow morning - Eagle Ridge Church of God. According to their website they are a more contemporary and progressive church. Hopefully we like it.
Tuesday will be fun. I LOVE Tuesday's because it is my day off! But this Tuesday is special b/c we're going to see Brian, Steve's cousin that lives in Oregon, and his son Brendan. They only come to visit a couple times a year so we don't get to see them often. We are meeting them and other family members for lunch, which should be fun.
Well thats all for now - hope to hear from you all soon!
On a more positive note I have been having success with a number of my cases and seem to be getting more and more comfortable seeing sick animals. Most of the time what my plan is is the same as the other docs, and when it isn't its fairly close (usually the difference involves choice of antibiotic which isn't a big deal - I'm learning more and more as I go which antibiotics work best in what instances). There are still a few cases that I have no idea what something is simply because I have never seen it before (example: I saw a dog with a histiocytoma and had no clue what it was, but Janet knew what it was and explained it to me, the next one I saw I knew what it was right away :) ). These cases sometimes make me feel really dumb, but I keep reminding myself I am a new grad and not expected to know everything (YET lol). Sue comes back early next week (YAY!!!) and I am sooo glad, I missed her - she's so great to work with :)
Steve and I are trying a new church tomorrow morning - Eagle Ridge Church of God. According to their website they are a more contemporary and progressive church. Hopefully we like it.
Tuesday will be fun. I LOVE Tuesday's because it is my day off! But this Tuesday is special b/c we're going to see Brian, Steve's cousin that lives in Oregon, and his son Brendan. They only come to visit a couple times a year so we don't get to see them often. We are meeting them and other family members for lunch, which should be fun.
Well thats all for now - hope to hear from you all soon!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Picking up an old hobby.... :)
I have my sister-in-law Andrea to thank for reintroducing me to an old hobby of mine that I lost while in vet school - reading. A couple weekends ago when Andrea came to Midland to visit us and we were out-and-about she suggested going into the Barnes and Noble in the mall. Once in the store I was like a kid in a candy store - there were so many paperback fiction novels to choose from that looked interesting! In the last two weeks I have read 4 books in my spare time - two by my favorite author Nicholas Sparks - A Walk To Remember and Message in a Bottle; The Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst, and Always a Bridesmaid by Whitney Lyles. I am currently reading the sequel of the latter, Here Comes the Bride. Novels waiting to be read are The Guardian (Nicholas Sparks again) and The Dive From Clausen's Pier by Ann Packer. I had forgotten how relaxing and enjoyable it is to curl up with a blanket and a good book. What a great way to relax on my lunch hour or before bed. It makes Steve happy too because it gives him time to play video games while I'm reading, and we can cuddle in the process :) I actually subscribed to the Barnes and Noble card today so I can get discounts whenever I buy books AND Starbucks coffee in the store! It will be worth it because there are still ~4 more Nicholas Sparks books I haven't read and hundreds of other books waiting to be discovered. If anyone has any recommendations, please let me know! I prefer fiction novels more than anything else.
On a different note, I have to say how much I LOVE MYSPACE! Not only does it help me keep in touch with good friends and remain updated on their lives, but I have reconnected with SO many good friends from OLM high school that I used to be close to and have since lost touch with. Its absolutely wonderful to hear from them and see what they have been up to!
Steve and I went minigolfing and bowling today which was a blast - we laughed a LOT! The rest of the day was spent bumming around on the couch, with me reading a book and him playing either World of Warcraft or Battle for MiddleEarth. I love when I have Saturday completely off to just relax :) Tomorrow is Hollie's wedding which I am really looking forward to. Bye for now!
On a different note, I have to say how much I LOVE MYSPACE! Not only does it help me keep in touch with good friends and remain updated on their lives, but I have reconnected with SO many good friends from OLM high school that I used to be close to and have since lost touch with. Its absolutely wonderful to hear from them and see what they have been up to!
Steve and I went minigolfing and bowling today which was a blast - we laughed a LOT! The rest of the day was spent bumming around on the couch, with me reading a book and him playing either World of Warcraft or Battle for MiddleEarth. I love when I have Saturday completely off to just relax :) Tomorrow is Hollie's wedding which I am really looking forward to. Bye for now!
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Its almost Friday!! :)
Its amazing how sleepy I am by the end of the week! I'm SOOO happy that tomorrow is Friday since this is one of my weekends off! Work is going really well though, feeling a little bit smarter and more confident every day :) I'm sad though b/c my favorite doctor at the clinic is going to be on vacation for 10 days and I'm going to miss having her around. Steve and I are going to see Lady in the Water with her this weekend which will be fun :). We're going to a colleague's wedding on Sunday afternoon which I'm really looking forward to. It will be so great to hang out with everyone from work and just relax and have some fun. Well time to get back to cudding with Steve and our smoochie kitty :) Happy Friday everyone!
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